Month: April 2016

We use phrases like this all of the time!

And to be honest, I vividly remember my “Naked and Afraid” type moment!  Life was going great!  I was back in school…..had taken a job with the football program…and was enjoying Tuscaloosa again….I was sitting in, of all places, a psychology class! It was an 8am class and I had just finished off a ham and cheese croissant from Arby’s with a coffee…..the latter from home with Coffee Mate White Chocolate Mocha Creamer!

Yes, I have my coffee standards….

I was sitting by the window looking out of Gordon Palmer Hall and listening to another stimulating lecture from our esteemed professor.  It was, by all means, a normal class on a normal day.  Suddenly, I felt my heart begin to race….and I mean RACE!  I started sweating perfusely….I couldn’t sit in that seat for a minute longer….I had to get up and get out….to where I didn’t care….I had to get out…IMMEDIATELY!

………was I having a HEART ATTACK!!!????

………this is not Good!!! Something is Wrong!

I immediately got up and walked….as nonchalant as I could….out of the lecture and into the men’s restroom!  Out of seemingly nowhere…a defensive linemen (and close friend, Juan) grabbed me and asked me what was wrong!  I stumbled through my words….my terrified…embarrassed….FREAKED OUT words as I attempted to describe what was going on!

After listening for a few minutes …and waiting for me to calm down…..He then said the words that would come to resonate in my mind over the next few months.

“Kevin, everything is going to be OK…you are having an anxiety attack..or panic attack!”

My immediate thought, “What!?!?!?…an anxiety attack?!  WHAT…ARE…YOU…TALKING…ABOUT?!  I’m a football coach!  I’m a strength and conditioning coach!  I’m grown!  I’m in my twenties!  I’m fine! I’m not anxious!  I’m not Panicking! I’m terrified…but not panicking!

Well…maybe I am!

We left Gordon Palmer (pictured) and walked…slowly…to Burke Dining Hall.  He told me his story and I told him what was going on with me!  He encouraged me to talk to my professor and ask for help….

Theres that word:  HELP!…………………

I don’t even like writing it!  help....it sounds so weak…so vulnerable…..so……..

“Naked and Afraid”

So, let’s get this straight…..this was no joking matter.  I knew if I wanted to get through this I needed to talk to someone…an expert….someone who would absolutely know how to ….um…..HELP…..

The only person I knew that fit those qualifications was my Psych professor…a DOCTORATE of Psychology!  …..I had a syllabus.  I had an office number.  But that wasn’t good enough…I needed…I wanted…I HAD TO KNOW WHAT WAS UP…NOW!

I looked for her other classes and I saw she had a Social Psych class in 15 minutes.. I jogged back to the building and waited….and as soon as I saw her walk around the corner…..I said, “I need to ask you a question”  She said, “Your name is Kevin?  You are in my 8am…How can I be of assistance?!”

I found out I wasn’t having a heart attack.

I found out I wasn’t crazy.

I found out that taking 19 hours..and working 2 jobs was NOT a good idea!!!!

I found out that stress……can….kill….you!!!

But I had to get to someone …an expert….who could help….

This message reminds me of how it feels to be scared…something I do not like!  I do not like fear….it SUCKS!  If you know me…the word “fear” is not something that I like to hear in my presence. But I am going to tell you something….I learned something over the next few weeks that change me mentally, spiritually, and physically! I learned what the word TRUST really meant!  I had to slow down, sleep more, and focus on what was important.  I wasn’t dying!  I wasn’t having heart issues!  I wasn’t sick!  My mind was telling my body….and my body was telling my mind…. PRIORITIES ARE WRONG!

And when you are….

“Naked (vulnerable) and Afraid (Unsure of the future)”

…you will look for THE FIRST opportunity…to meet THE right person….to get THE answer!

AN EXPERT!!

We have all heard sermons that stand out to us!  Jesus feeding the five thousand!  Jesus Heals the Blind Man!  Jesus Heals the Leper!  Etc..Etc… Today, I want to give you a different perspective that literally came to mind as I was thinking about that day in 2007!

Jesus had been grinding!  He had been ministering in every town he went to! He had been preaching, teaching, and preparing himself for the gauntlet for a long time. So, Jesus tells his disciples to get into a boat and go to the other side of the lake……he falls asleep!  A storm arises and Jesus wakes up and calms it…….

(this isn’t another calming the storm message)!

They continue their journey across the lake and “when Jesus had stepped out on land” in Luke 8:26-39  Jesus met a man who…

-had no clothes on…(naked)

-had not lived in a house, but among the tombs…..(isolated)

-was kept bound with chains and shackles…(symbolic of being a prisoner in his mind)

-was TERRIFIED!  (AFRAID!)

When the man saw Jesus……he had been waiting…anticipating the arrival of THE EXPERT!

The man cried out and fell down before HIM and said with a loud voice,

“What have you to do with me, Jesus. ‘Son of the Most High God! I beg you, do not torment me!”  

Then, we are given a personal history of the man in verse 29:

“For He (Jesus) had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. (For many a time it had seized him.  He was kept under guard and bound with chains and shackles, but he would break the bonds and be driven by the unclean spirit into the desert).”

This man was naked, literally and figuratively!

This man had been suffering for “many a time”!

This man had be driven into the desert many times! (Rejected and thrown out)

This man was DESPERATE!  This man had been waiting for an expert!  An authority!

This man was waiting for Jesus when he stepped onto LAND!  IMMEDIATELY!  “What can you do with me Jesus…SON OF THE MOST HIGH!” (I know you are “I AM!”)

After the man confronted Jesus on that shoreline…..Jesus did something very interesting.  Jesus asked the man,

“What is your name?!”

The man responded, “Legion”, for many unclean spirits had entered him.  And they begged Jesus not to command them into the abyss.” 

When Jesus asked the man for his name….Jesus made it even more PERSONAL!  In other words, what is your identity?  What is your situation?  What is your ISSUE? In today’s term’s…….STUFF GOT REAL!  Jesus was basically “Calling out” or “Sizing Up” the unclean spirits!  He looked at the man and said, “I want to know how your issue is going to be identified!”  And once Jesus had the name…..In verse 32…the unclean spirits waited for PERMISSION!

Yes, you heard that correct! The unclean spirits needed..

PERMISSION from Jesus to do ANYTHING!!!!!

This week you really need to read the remainder of this story!  DO IT!  It will absolutely shock you what happens next!

Here is a hint:  Can pigs swim?

Regardless of your self image……..we have all been the man with the unclean spirits at one point in life.  While we may not have had unclean spirits….we have had issues and or problems that we need IMMEDIATE, EXPERT, AUTHORITATIVE, help from!

The main thing I want us to take away from this is…..

“SEIZE YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK TO THE EXPERT!”

Be the type of person that would run to Jesus when you get your chance……

FEAR, VULNERABILITY, UNCERTAINTY, DOUBT, UNBELIEF, NEGATIVITY, AND HOPELESSNESS can creep into your life in an unlimited amount of ways!  We have to mature enough to admit that we NEED help and we NEED other people.  Over the past decade I have had countless texts and emails from former players, coaches, and colleagues that were experiencing a similar experience with anxiety.  Each and every time they are more concerned about “keeping this between us” than they are about the issue itself!  We are so good at keeping our WALL up that we forget how to be genuine!  This week, take an inventory of yourself and the people close to you!

-Are you healthy?  Mentally? Physically? Spiritually?

-Are there areas of life that you know need some attention?

-Are there people around you that are in NEED of your attention?

Everyone,  if there is anything I want to leave my team with…it is to be ready when their opportunities come in life…

If you don’t already know him….sign up for Dr. Kevin Elko’s Monday Morning of Inspiration.  Most of you have worked out to his talks…..you remember…“Think about what you are thinking about!” !  He has an incredible perspective!  And to quote Dr. Elko…..for this week REMEMBER to…..

W.I.N.:

W….WHAT’S

I……IMPORTANT

N……NOW

I love you all!

CoachKD

#beready

 

Every year around this time, the Dogwood’s begin to bloom and signs of life start to spring up all around us.  Around campus, the coeds start sunbathing on the quad and pools at apartment complexes open to the public…..every college student seems to catch ‘puppy fever’ and everyone resumes their warm weather lifestyles.  People start washing their vehicles again, Yeti coolers take a permanent position in the back of the brand new Silverado Crew Cab, and those neon toy sunglasses make their annual appearance on the patio of the corner wing joint.

Its simply that time of year.  Then, usually around midnight…maybe 2 am….their is a knock on my office door….or any coaches door….

“Hey (any Coach in America), you got a minute?!”

Me….trying to widen my eyes and appear as though I have slept in the past week, “Sure, whatcha got man?”

“Well, Coach I’ve been up all night! And I need to talk to you about something…”

…….OK…Zack Morris moment here, “FREEEEEEEZE”

—————————————————————-

Do we understand the levity of that phrase, “Up all Night“??????  There are several levels to that statement… There is the “I pulled an all-nighter studying for Gozenbach’s PR Exam!”, the “we ended up at Rounder’s Bar!”, and don’t forget the ever popular “I had to take care of my sick roommate” stories.  However, in this case, not me or the student-athletein this scenario is…

“Up all Night for Good Fun!”

Upon the student athletes statement a hundred possibilities come to mind and how this individual soul standing in front of me is handling the situation….he is sick….failing a class…homesick….long-distance girlfriend….girlfriend cheated….girlfriend pregnant….parental pressure…..parent sick….parents divorcing….financial issue…..car trouble…..substance abuse issue…….mental health issue….depression……

“UNFREEZE”

——————————————————————

“Well Coach, (tears slowly accumulating in the crease of his eyes) I got a phone call and (select any or all of the above mentioned scenarios)!”^^^^^^^

The first thing I ask the player to do is go grab him a protein shake and me a coffee (2 creams and 2…erh…4 sugars) …  Second, I tell him to verbally tell me everything that’s going RIGHT in his life!  EVERYTHING!  (This should take a while)!  3am hits… I want him to hear it come out of his mouth.  I want those words to ring in his ears and soak in to his soul.  He needs to hear himself say it!

After the tears have almost stopped, I ask a simple but revealing question, “With all of this going right, why are we always SHOCKED by any resistance!?” You are a collegiate student-athlete! There are so many blessing right now….there are going to be some BIG stressors!  Even though we are on TV for 12-15 Saturday’s a year, life still happens to us like it does anyone else!  Sometimes it is as simple as being homesick. Other times,  the situations are much more complex and personal. Regardless, it’s REAL and it hurts!

The difference….something I still struggle with…is how we think about these issues that pop up and the plan that we have for the issues when they pop up! So……

Real Talk: Anyone who comes to you in this situation wants to talk to you and for you to listen.  At this point, as my former players will tell you…….they have already heard my heartache stories prior to this occasion……We have had our heart-to-heart moments.  We’ve shed tears over life, death, and broken hearts.   It is Real!  It is Genuine!  A Mentor Leader Relationship!

Its time for application……………

My application is how incredible of a job that Jesus did as the Offensive Coordinator of the gospels!  Let’s pick-up his game plan in the gospel of Luke…

Jesus was rolling…I mean He was dominating!  Jesus was healing left and right!  Beginning in Luke 4:31 Jesus Heals a Man with an Unclean Spirit, healed Simon’s mother-in-law (I really want to insert a joke here),  laid His hands on many sick and diseased people and healed them, casted out demons, cleansed a leper, and healed a man with a withered hand!  …..dominating the scene!

So many things were going right…so many blessings.  But there were some……lets say….”ISSUES”:

The authorities…or ‘sweater vests’ as I call them….sat back and HATED!  HATED!  HATED!  In today’s language, “They saw Him Rollin…They were Hatin’!”  They were sitting back (arms crossed) on the back row, talking about how ‘they should be doing it’!  How, if he was from different family, of a different race, maybe higher socio-economically……he would be a more appropriate miracle worker.  How, if the group hadn’t been hanging out with John Doe or had dated Jane Doe then it would be appropriate.  Sound familiar? And they didn’t go away!  They plotted! They conspired! They slandered! They assaulted!

Well, Let me tell you guys a secret!! JESUS HAD A PLAN!  He is the great , “I AM”!  He prioritized his time and his issues…….perfectly!  He had a goal!  He had a date! He understood that time was of the essence and that most of these issues were simply mental and spiritual clutter!  Jesus gives us a step by step game plan in how to handle our problems.

Take a look at Luke 6:12…..

“In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and

UP ALL NIGHT…..

he continued in prayer to God!”

Jesus showed us the best example in history of prioritizing stress!  Jesus Christ had a date…..a slow, painful, bloody, excruciating date ahead!  A day He knew was coming!  FAST!  He was doing nothing wrong and everything right!  But He knew that date was coming!  So, he did a few things to strengthen himself and focus on the real WAR:

1: Jesus went OUT to the MOUNTAIN to pray! (He went to the private spot he felt closest to God).

2: Jesus stayed there ALL NIGHT!  ALL NIGHT He stayed OUT at the MOUNTAIN to pray! When he had prayed ALL NIGHT, when “Daylight” came..Jesus went out and he called his chosen few….

“called His disciples, and chose from them twelve, whom He called apostles”

3: He resumed his ministry….. with even more focus and intensity than before!

He was stronger!  He had talked to his Head Coach!  He had met with his Strength Coach! He called together his Offensive Line, Tight Ends, Running Backs, Wide Receivers, and his Specialists……..

He was getting past the resistance, getting organized,  and getting prepared for the war!

So, this week as we celebrated Easter and Christ’s resurrection, where were our priorities? Our stressors?  Did we even ask God to help….or take them and hide them behind our pastel shirts and slacks?

I hide my problems sometimes!….We all hide them sometimes!  But we have to have those people that will put on the Kevlar vest with us and get dirty!  And we have to give them over to God!

How do you give your “Moments” to God…..

It’s time to make a plan for these Nights when you are not …..

“UP ALL NIGHT FOR GOOD FUN!”

Remember, if you are up…..and battling your thoughts…at 3am….with workouts at 5 and class at 8…….and you don’t know what to do….”Daylight Will Come“…..

Ask yourself:

-How important is what I am worried about?

-Is what I’m stressing about permanent or a “WHAT IF”?

-What is going RIGHT in my life?

If you are worried about….

-An Exam….you may just ace it!

-Failing a class…..you may just pass it!

–Long-Distance relationship…..they need to prove they are the one! And you do too!

-Your girlfriend/bf cheated…..great news…you get something better!

–She may not be pregnant…..but if she is……everything is going to be great!

-Your relative may not be sick….but if they are….its time to be strong!

Daylight will Come…….

Regardless of the stressor:  Let’s use these mediations this week:

1. “Panic is what you feel when you have no idea what you are doing….and I know exactly what I am doing!”
2. “My core, my ‘twelve’ have my back and I have theirs.  People may let me down but I’m stronger than most!”
3. “I have to continue to prepare for my next opportunity!  It may only come once and I’m not going to be distracted when MY chance comes!”
4. “Think about what you are thinking about!”

My favorite that I use every single day:

“God has taken care of my for (____) years, and I see absolutely NO reason why he wont’ continue to take care of his child!”

 

Remember last Sunday!? He is Risen!  I love you guys!

 

CoachKD

#mindstrong