Life is full of transitions!  

Athletically…

Academically…

Socially….

Spiritually….

Intellectually…

While some of these transitions are seamless and unnoticed until months and years later, some are difficult and hard to adjust to.  Most people graduate high school and shift into the next phase of life…whatever it may be…with prayer, some phone calls, long talks with the grandparents, and some late nights.  Other times, the shift is much more than a phone call.  It takes a toll due to the changes in each and every area of life.

Academically, it is ALWAYS going to shock the system.   College prep courses…no matter how difficult…are not really “college courses”.  JoAnne Carter’s Civics class at RHS was difficult, don’t get me wrong….but it had nothing on Bill Gonzebach’s Public Relations course at The University of Alabama.  It was rough….really tough!

The most immediate impact of any life transition is undeniably

SOCIAL!  

FRIENDS, CULTURE, SPIRITUAL SUPPORT, ENVIRONMENT…..

Your friend from high school who dreamed of joining the Marines isn’t going to be able to listen to your stressors of your freshman year at VCU when he is sweating through nights in Parris Island, South Carolina!  He simply can’t walk your path and run his….

Your teammate on your high school baseball team gets a scholarship to play at The University of Georgia.  You guys sat around for years talking about “life after high school”. You are not going to be able to sit on his team bus after they get beat by another school in the SEC Tournament….because you….you will be getting ready to student teach at the high school in Tallahassee.

Your best friend, that you have lived with throughout high school, decides to move to Los Angeles and become an actor.  You decided that Baton Rouge and LSU was the best place for you to pursue your goals.  Your best friend will have the path of auditions and you will be awaiting Saturdays in Tiger Stadium.  Both paths must be walked alone……

This transition takes approximately 3-6 months to develop and and for new social constructs to begin to cement.  And that is where I want to focus this week’s message.

What kind of people will you encounter during your first few years on your own path.  

Some people are “ride or die” and will be regardless of your geographical location, occupation, or relationship status.  These people are not going anywhere and will stay with you through thick and thin.  Others, on the other hand, will simply move to another state, get jobs that carry them to other locations, or have developed priorities that demand their attention.  They still care about you…..and still want to keep in touch…but their own lives are transitioning and THEY HAVE ALL HANDS ON DECK!

AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!

Sometimes, however, we need to understand the “ebbs and flows” of interpersonal relationships.  This is one of the biggest and most revealing epiphanies I have ever had in my personal life, my career, and my spiritual journey. The absolute best explanation of this came to me while I was watching Bishop T.D. Jakes speak on relationships. In the following video Bishop Jakes discusses the three types of people that you will meet on your journey toward your Destiny.

Bishop TD Jakes Confidants, Constituents, and Comrades!!!

Comrades: Not for you.  Not for what you are for.  They are against what you are against.  Only with you as long as a common enemy is in combat.  As soon as the common enemy is defeated….they will move on to another battle.

Constituents: They are for what you ARE FOR!  As long as you are for……..what they are for…they will be for you.  When the time comes that you cannot help them with your shared goal…..they will not be there. Not personal…just business. Easy to get close to and even confide in…but they are not confidantes.

**Confidantes: You will have very few of these people in your life.  THEY ARE FOR YOU!! Right or wrong…they are with you for the long haul!  They are “Ride or Die”!  You can call these people at 2am….in an Upstate New York blizzard….and they will drive 5 hours to come get you…..(long story)….

I have shared the information in this message with you for the following statement:

Not everyone in your circle will be able to continue on the path you are taking!

Several years ago I decided to go to graduate school and pursue a Master’s Degree.  It was an inconvenient time financially and there were other factors that complicated the transition.  Once I committed, my circle almost IMMEDIATELY shifted.  I noticed that my social constructs, priorities, and expectations shifted along with my goals.  At first, my condition was uncomfortable.  VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!  Everything was new!

Relationships that I once counted on….I noticed were only there if I showed up at church an hour early…….if I dressed a certain way…..if I worked out the same muscles on certain days…..if I was as “spiritual” as was culturally acceptable IN THEIR CIRCLES…..

…..Comrades

……Constituents

I sensed this transition! Then, I stumbled upon a certain story in John 6!

Many DISCIPLES desert Jesus!

To summarize, Jesus was traveling around and performing signs and miracles.  Just doing His thing.  I mean, He is Jesus, right!? As He travels, His focus an His destiny starts to become more CONCENTRATED each day!  Each day His messages to His circle (His disciples) required more faith and more commitment.   Shortly after His “Bread of Life” message to the Jews,  in verse 60….let’s pick up the conversation,

⁶⁰ On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?”

⁶¹ Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? ⁶² Then what if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! ⁶³ The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit^[a] and life. ⁶⁴ Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. ⁶⁵ He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”

⁶⁶ From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

Seriously,  after all of the things they had seen Jesus do….they “no longer f0llowed him”!?

And to the ones that stayed, Jesus gave them an out…..a straight up, OUT:

⁶⁷ “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.

⁶⁸ Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. ⁶⁹ We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”

⁷⁰ Then Jesus replied, “Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!” ⁷¹ (He meant Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, who, though one of the Twelve, was later to betray him.)

1993:

Stranger in the fishing aisle: “Excuse me….but ……umm…is your last name Daughtrey!?You are Donald’s boy, aren’t you?!”

Me: My guard now replaced with dumbfounded…SHOCK!  “Yes sir.   It is.  How….did…you know?”

(My father had passed away 8 years prior…)

Stranger: “Well son, the way you are standing there and the way you are built….I just knew that you had to be Don’s!  I worked with him and all your kin!  You got a name son!”

My mom: “Wow, that must have been of of your Dad’s friends from IBEW….from the Lodge, or from the Navy.  You never know who is watching……“

1996….

Key Club Officer:  “Kevin, you should really look into running for a District Office in Key Club.  The Kentucky-Tennessee District has a proud history!”

Me: “Really!?  You think I should!? What is the process?”

Key Club Officer:  “Absolutely!  You have the demeanor for it!  You have the characteristics the position needs….you should try it!”

Me: ” Interesting, that sounds like something that could really open my eyes to the political process!”

The District Administrator Steve Philips,

“You know who you were just talking to, right?!  The young man is the President of Key Club International!  You never know who you will talk to…..“

2009:

The Rose Bowl…the BCS National Championship.  Pregame.  The American Flag, school flags, and game ball have been parachuted in from above the Southern California Sky.  As the military personnel land…I notice approximately 5 men standing to my left..some in full uniform…others in jumpsuits.  One man, noticing the  Navy pin i wear on my lapel, asks me about it…..

“Excuse me sir, is that a Navy pin on your shirt!? ”

Me: “Yes sir, my Dad was in the Navy and lived out here for several years! I wear it to represent him at each game!”

Man: “That’s awesome.  I’m a Navy UDT Diver!!!! You are Navy too!  (Slowly reaches up and takes a pin off of his uniform)  As a matter of fact, this is one of my pins…..Now its your’s in remembrance of your Dad….He’s proud of you man!  ..HOOYAH! Now, GO WIN THE DAMN THING!!!

Me:  Speechless……..

Assistant Coach:   “WOW!  Dude, that is a God moment!  Kevin, you never know who you will meet along the way……”

In an ever-busy culture….with smart phone, ipads, headsets, and well….everything else that demands our attention….its important to remember the power of a conversation.

Sitting in line at a supermarket……waiting at the airport…..standing in line at Starbucks….

We have all of these opportunities around us to meet and learn.  Encounters to find connection and even begin friendships.  Chances…to

Change our lives!

Growing up, I always noticed how the people in my family seemed to say Hi and talk to everyone.  It didn’t matter if they knew them or not.  It seemed the conversation was as natural as talking to an old friend.  A minute after the conversation started, a small group would be laughing and telling stories about someone they all knew….

As I grew older, I began to hear the following comment from friends and coworkers,

“Can we go anywhere and you NOT know someone?!”

One day, as I was drawing up a recruiting strategy, I began to list on a legal pad how many times in my life that a chance conversation led to a huge opportunity such as….

Relationships.

Job Offers.

Random Recruit Information.

Spiritual Encouragement.

You simply don’t know who you may speak to…..

The truth is that life can change in a instant…in a conversation!  That’s what makes this whole thing called life worth doing.  How one day, you may be walking down the street and see a beautiful brunette with a tint of blonde walking toward you. You find a way….however ill-prepared it is…..to start a conversation and…life changes…..

That brunette…with a hint of blonde….could be the mother of your future child….

You could be in line at Starbucks…waiting on your Grande Caramel Macchiato (with an extra shot) and see a man reading a story in the newspaper about your company.  You start a conversation……after 20 minutes….and the end of your macchiato…..you discover that he is the CEO of his own company and wants someone like YOU!!!

That man…..reading his newspaper…..could be your future BOSS!

You could be sitting in an airport…just like I was…at LAX….waiting for your flight.  A man could be sitting behind you playing with his kids.  He says, “You guys really played a heck of a game last night!”  You turn around…as I did….and meet Jon Gruden.

You never know who you are talking to………….

Shortly after Jesus was crucified…and He had Resurrected….the disciples and general public were in a state of shock.

Two disciples were on the road to Emmaus.  As they were walking, they were talking about all of the events that had taken place.  They were talking, confiding, stressing, speaking their concerns, the possibilities, and their worries!

The type of conversation you have with your closest friends in one of life’s trials….

All of the sudden, on The Road to Emmaus, Jesus came along and started walking with them on their journey…but he didn’t let them notice who He was.

He asked them, “What is this conversation that you are holding with each other as you walk!?”

They stood still, looking sad.  One of them, named Cleopas, answered Him.

“Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days? “

Cleopas then tells Him the story and “catches him up” so to speak…..   After Cleopas tells his dramatized…emotional version of the events…..The man (Jesus in Disguise)….says:

“O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!  Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into “his glory”?

After the interchange, Cleopas and his journey mate encourage the Man to eat and lodge with the other disciples in Emmaus.  As they sit down to dine…

Jesus Reveals Himself!

Cleopas had no clue who he was talking to…………..

Cleopas was talking to….

The CEO…

The Boss!

The Alpha and The Omega!

The Great I AM!!!

If Cleopas had known who his new friend on the Road to Emmaus was…

-Do you think he would has treated the conversation differently?

-Do you think he would have chosen his words differently?

-Do you think he would have asked about the man’s salvation?

-Don’t you think he would have been more…umm..TACTFUL?

This week, I challenge you to talk to those around you. To genuinely open up and get to know those anonymous faces that you see every day!  Smile!  Look them in the eye…and and say, Hello! Change the culture.  Change the game….And possibly…Change your life! Because…..

You never know who you are talking to!!!

I love you guys!

#coachKD

If you were to meet the top 10 most successful people in the world and ask them what they attribute their success to.   You would hear 10 different variations of the same explanation.  Some are entrepreners, some are educators, others are doctors……but they all have one thing in common:

The ability to make good decisions!

Years ago, John Maxwell spoke at my church in Birmingham.  He told the story of how he wrote letters to 10 leaders that he admired and wanted to surround himself with.  As a motivator, he told each individual he wanted to meet that he would give them $100.00 for their time.  Slowly but surely, these individuals began to reply.  He took copious notes during these appointments.  In the end, Maxwell stated that those appointments changed his life.

So, I decided to do the same….

Over the years I’ve been blessed with opportunities to have coffee with some of the best leaders in America.  In 2013, at the AFCA (American Football Coaches Association) Convention in Indianapolis, IN, I made up my mind to meet 10 coaches and/or administrators and ask them about their journey….you know… pick their brain!  I was able to meet and talk to coaches from programs across the country including my alma mater Alabama, Michigan State, Tennessee, Florida State, LSU, Notre Dame, the NY Jets, Baltimore Ravens, Carolina Panthers, Seattle Seahawks, and many others.

Here are some of the notes I took from those meetings:

-Pray…..Alot!  Make the decision to trust in HIM.

–Decide to trust in the right people.

-Don’t Make Emotional Decisions.

-Think of your job as a CEO….  There will be one after you and there were many before you!  Every decision you make will have a lasting impression.

-“My advice…to all my young bucks…is to learn compartmentalization.  DECIDE what is worth freaking out about and what to not give a freak about!  Hire the right people to handle the small stuff and you focus on the direction of the ship!”

-“Ill tell you this much…as i look around this place….All of that back-slapping and good ‘ole boy “crap” doesn’t get you anywhere!  I see right through that!  Make the decision that you have a purpose for EVERY second in EVERY day!”

-“You will have 3-4 GENUINE friends in the business. 1 or 2 that you can call and ask for advice before you play Alabama!  Make it your goal (DECIDE) to figure out who they are as soon as possible.”

****I keep a book of quotes.  A small leather-bound notebook that I jot down things that stick with me and make me think.  Years before the convention, my mother and I were in Mexico Beach, FL speaking to a neighbor…Jill Siler… about “What brought you to the beach?”  After several minutes of rapport, she summarized all of those leaders in the following statement:

“The only things in this world we have TRUE OWNERSHIP of……..that the effects will last for eternity……are the decisions we make!”

BOOM!!!

-How powerful can one small, mundane decision be?

-How easily can one decision change your life?

-How can one decision be legendary?

Here are a few small decisions that changed our world:

Pastor Chris Hodges DECIDING to “look over” the youth of his church in Baton Rouge, LA until they could find someone else……….”PC” as we call him is now Senior Pastor of Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, AL with campuses across the state…and here is the big one….campuses in 13 of 21 PRISONS ACROSS THE STATE AS WELL.

……..ONE DECISION STARTED IT ALL.

Steve Philips, a pharmacist in a small town outside of Chattanooga, TN, DECIDED, as a member of Kiwanis International, to work with high school students in Key Club.  Steve has personally mentored hundreds of young men (including myself) and women and in turn, helped change cities…then states….and in turn the country.

……..ONE DECISION………

William Booth began his career in ministry in 1852.  After a disagreement with fellow church leaders Booth DECIDED to start his own ministry.  In 1867, Booth had only 10 full-time workers, but by 1874, the number had grown to 1,000 volunteers and 42 evangelists, all serving under the name “The Christian Mission.”  This group would later be named,        The Salvation Army……..

…..ONE DECISION…..

Possibly my favorite story supporting the power of one decision is the story of Jonathan and his armor bearer.  In 1 Samuel 14, Saul, his son Jonathan, and his men were camped in Gibeah in Benjamin.  They sent out men to do recon on the region.  Also, they went in search of a blacksmith in order to obtain swords and other weapons. They were not able to obtain the services of a blacksmith…so they had no weapons.

The scouting report wasn’t looking good. The RB wasn’t 100%, the LB core was beat up, and to make matter’s worse…..the Athletic Director Saul was losing his confidence and didn’t want to even play….literally….he was sulking under a dadgum Pomegranate Tree. (I had to pull a Coach Bowden right there).

Then….Jonathan made a decision:

1 Samuel 14: 1-10

14 ¹ One day Jonathan son of Saul said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the Philistine outpost on the other side.” But he did not tell his father.

² Saul was staying on the outskirts of Gibeah under a pomegranate tree in Migron.With him were about six hundred men, ³ among whom was Ahijah, who was wearing an ephod. He was a son of Ichabod’s brother Ahitub son of Phinehas, the son of Eli, the Lord’s priest in Shiloh. No one was aware that Jonathan had left.

⁴ On each side of the pass that Jonathan intended to cross to reach the Philistine outpost was a cliff; one was called Bozez and the other Seneh. ⁵ One cliff stood to the north toward Mikmash, the other to the south toward Geba.

⁶ Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.”

⁷ “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

⁸ Jonathan said, “Come on, then; we will cross over toward them and let them see us. ⁹ If they say to us, ‘Wait there until we come to you,’ we will stay where we are and not go up to them. ¹⁰ But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ we will climb up, because that will be our sign that the Lord has given them into our hands.”

“One Day”…..Jonathan decided…..and his decision was LEGENDARY!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen…….Today is your ONE DAY!

What is that thing that you keep wanting to accomplish?

Who is that person that you always wanted to interview?

Where is that place that you have always wanted to live….ONE DAY?

“I’m just waiting on God!” isn’t working anymore!!!!

Get out and DECIDE to apply action to those prayers!  Get up, drop the hyper-spirituality, the culturally acceptable mediocrity, and do something!

Is your current job a mission or a misery?!

Ive had to fight all of my life!  I’m not stopping now!

And when God gives me a dream…..

I want HIM to know that I’m game…..

Im suited up….

I have his gameplan……

I have four fingers in the air…..

and I’m sitting on GO!

Sweater Vests Beware….

Now Run and Tell That!!!!

#COACHKD

“If we can hold them to a field goal….we may be able to block it…heck….something!”

“We gotta have something…A STOP….right….NOW!”

The Navy offense was simply running Dives and Belly’s trying to get into field goal range and then position.

It was an ironic sight, really.  So much emotion and intensity balled up into a waining clock at the United States Naval Academy Football Stadium in Annapolis, Md.  I was in the press box with Defensive Backs Coach and DFO……social media director…..and whatever else title they could give him…Riley Wanckett as the Mighty Falcons made their last defensive stand.

The remnants of Navy’s last game against North Texas were littered around the press box as we reviewed our game plan notes….lo0king for a miracle in the fine print.

In the press box 2 doors down….Navy’s varsity coaches were watching and anticipating the end of the game.  Jotting notes on the visiting Milford Academy Falcons and any possible recruits they could possibly bring on board.

All 100 fans….a slight exaggeration… were still in hope that Chaplick…or one of his assistants….had a trick up there sleeves. Newly promoted Defensive Coordinator Lamarr Stewart had executed a great game plan thus far and kept the Naval Academy Backs in check…and not wanting to run between the tackles.  Blitzes were well timed…..and honestly…I was in the belief that Navy thought they were just showing up to a slow-paced scrimmage.   They thought wrong….

Offensively, we were clicking!  Offensive Coordinator….Assistant Head Coach….Offensive Line Coach…and Michigan State Alum Stephon Wheeler was in “The Zone”!  We had drawn up a perfect balance of runs and intermediate passing plays that kept the Midshipmen off-balance and ….at times…..confused.  My favorite was a delayed draw that combined some Jim McElwain flare and some misdirection as the QB appeared to roll out….before a Guard pulled to the weak side…..NASTY!!

As time slowly ticked away…a feeling of frustration…of another ALMOST started to creep into that press box.  We had done just about everything we could possibly do…..everything…EVERYTHING!  Then……

4th and 3……..30 Seconds on the clock…..Tick….Tick…Tick…..

Navy keeps their first team Offense on the field…Tick…Tick…..

Navy lines up…..(maybe they are trying to draw us offsides…..)

Navy…..SNAPS THE BALL????!!!!!!…..TICK…

THE QB picks the WRONG GAP and BOOM!!!   Meet Witchie Exillhomme……

FUMBLE….The ball is on the carpet……Riley and I stop breathing for the next 10 seconds…..Witchie picks the ball up….And

Run!!!!! Witchie….RUN!!!!!!   Maybe an explicative or 3………

Witchie returned the fumble 79 yards…into Navy territory…and into prep school and Naval Academy lore……

The press box was pandemonium….and the Varsity Coaches 2 doors down……were not happy.  Buddy Green, Varsity Assistant Coach, stood by the goal post as the Mighty Falcons piled on…. he was emotionless.

And the craziest part of it…..

THERE WERE NO ESPN REPORTERS ON THE SIDELINES!

THERE WERE NO FANS WAITING FOR AUTOGRAPHS OUTSIDE THE LOCKER ROOM!

THERE WASN’T EVEN A POST-GAME PRESS CONFERENCE……

IT WAS…..OVER!

we got on our charter bus…and we went back to Upstate New York….and it was…

ON TO THE NEXT ONE!….

Except this time….there was no next one!  It was time to pack up my belongings…my playbook, and my memories…..and head back below that Mason-Dixon line.  My life was now a question mark…  And my success as a coach….was resting on my ability to get to…THE NEXT ONE.

Coach Chaplick turns to me and says, “You know Bama, you are going to miss this! You are going to miss these kids and this place!”

Coach Chap was absolutely correct!!

Some of the most memorable moments in life… are only seen by a handful of people if anyone at all.  There are no cameras, no lights, no interviews!  Just a memory…shared with a few people and that day!

Coaching has taught me many things.  It has forced me to live in dormitories, Graduate Assistant housing, my Head Coach’s spare bedroom, on a very old couch in an unheated school building, and best of all…..on top of my desk in an office in Virginia.

Coaching has forced me to be a teacher, counselor, parent, pastor, paramedic, tutor, and…..well…you get the idea.

And do you know who filmed it all!?!?

NO ONE!!!…..AND SOON AS THE MOMENT COMES…..ITS…

ON TO THE NEXT ONE….

Many times, I will be enjoying a cup of coffee and my mind with drift back to a practice field in Danville, Va….or a weight room in New York, or even the Indoor at The University of Alabama.  I will think of Mike Dunlevy trying to pronounce a player’s last name….maybe running through a cemetery at 5am in the snow…..or having Leigh Tiffin absolutely school me in field goal competitions.  Whatever the moment…whatever the memory…there was always a sense of……

Be ready for whatever the next step is….

Today, I opened Snapchat on my phone and I saw a former player…Andrew Coleman….Snapchat himself pulling his name plate out of his locker with a “So long locker” tag on the middle of the screen!  The moment stung! Without talking to him…I knew it was a difficult moment.  Surreal almost!

It’s a moment we all must live through.  It’s over! On to the next one!  Regroup and refocus! And whenever life quiets down….the Memories come rushing back!

This week I felt specifically driven to resume our weekly quotes…. and in particular how to transition.  This weeks quote….

“On to the next one…..”

Whatever is going on in life…whether positive or negative…or neutral….we all must learn to look “on to the next one!

Some of you will be entering college!

Some of you will be entering the NFL Draft!

Some of you will be graduating from college and entering the world of work!

And some of you will be getting married and starting a family!

Regardless of what you are doing…or where you are….you must keep looking ahead and fighting off complacency!

The best I have personally seen at the ability to compartmentalize and keeping focusing on what’s next is Nick Saban.  In 2003 he took the LSU Tigers to the National Championship to play the Oklahoma Sooners. The Bayou Bengal Tigers won the National Championship and shortly after the game Coach Saban was asked what the most difficult thing about winning the national championship is……..Nick Saban’s reply:

“The hardest thing about becoming great…is getting over being good!”

So you have applied to several jobs?……..follow up!

So you are new on a job?……seek new responsibilities!

So you are getting married?….look ahead on how to keep the marriage healthy!

So you are getting Drafted in the NFL?……look forward and train to beat the opponent.

In this life you will have a handful, if you are lucky, of life-defining moments.  Moments that you will look back on and say one of two things….

“I transitioned well during that period….”

or 

“I should have transitioned better during that period….”

The key is to “Get over being good” and Get Going “To the Next One!”

Much Love,

CoachKD

#Ontothenextone

During a heart to heart conversation many years ago, I asked my step-dad what he remembered most about playing ball.  He took a few moments and I could see the memories flashing through his mind.  He smiled for a few minutes and a wave of emotions came over him.

“Coach Fabris” he said.   (Notice the first thing he mentioned was the name of his Coach)….

“Coach Fabris was a great man!  He played Defensive End for Tulsa and even played in the Gator Bowl!  He was prob 28 at the time this happened…but he was driving our team bus as we went to play Chattanooga City High School!  As the bus rolled down Dodd’s Avenue…we passed Central High school’s baseball fields….the “Purple Pounders”  It was different back then!  We sat quietly on the bus and….suddenly…we looked down and saw a young man wearing one of our football jerseys standing in the outfield!  Coach stopped the bus and before we knew what was going on….HE GOT OFF THE BUS!  He demanded the jacket from the young man….and told him he wasn’t representing the jacket well and to take it off!”

Ladies and gentlemen……that memory is nearly 60 years old!  That memory…that moment lives on today!  “Coach Fabris”…of Rossville High School in Rossville, Ga sold integrity in that football team that day when he stopped that bus…..how to act as a representative of the name on the back and on the front of the jersey!  He sold honor, pride, and excellence in his young men!  How good of a salesman was he??!!  For 60 years the story has been told about this man….

I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO PLAY FOR COACH FABRIS! DANG RIGHT I WOULD!  I WOULD HAVE WENT TO WAR FOR HIM!

DO YOU HAVE A COACH FABRIS STORY? We all had a teacher or coach that was just plain changed the way we saw our lives!  Years, maybe decades later we look back on that person and want to talk to them….to thank them….for influencing us.  Then it hits us….subconsciously we were looking at our Coach Fabris and saying….

Coach Me Coach!

As a student athletes, its natural to  subscribe to the belief that the men and women that serve us as educators….are there simply for a job.  Not until many years later do you realize that each of your educators had a lifelong impact on you and the life you are living today.

During a conversation with one of my high school coaches, Coach Klein, we were discussing what we wanted our students and players in particular, to remember.  What philosophy we wanted our pupils …..our studies…the products of our time and training..to reflect on during the formative years of their lives and beyond.  Coach Klein was one of the few teachers I had….who even though I wasn’t the best athlete….treated me like I was ALL-REGION!  He made such an impact on me…I can remember getting mad in class when anyone would act up! I was saying……

Coach Me Coach!

A few days after our conversation…..I decided to ask 6 distinct people the following question:

“If you could communicate one philosophy to each and every student and student athlete you have taught…what would it be and why?!”

The 6 distinct people included the following people:

-A retired high school and Junior College Latin instructor…

-A high school football and baseball coach……MY COACH

-A Texas high school teacher and personal trainer…

-An SEC Head Football Coach…

-A Division II defensive coordinator…..

-An SEC Special Teams Assistant Coach

In random order…these were the responses,

“Prioritize.  Honestly that could be an open forum, but for me it means putting God’s Will first and letting Him rule my decisions.  Second would be focus, which might be similar to the first except it would relate to team activities, like training, running, and everything that goes into being a contributing team member.  Spiritual, then physical and emotional are interwoven.”

“That no matter how bad things look we must look beyond what we see with the carnal eye.  And the WHY is because had I not done that I would have only seen the path I stood upon NOT where I could go!!”

“Success Is Simply Momentary!  You can never be satisfied“

“Respect the team!  Do whats best for the Team…even if that is something you don’t want to do.  If your ego won’t allow you to do that…..GET OUT!”

“Perfecting the little things in life and ‘on field.  They need to understand the importance of doing the little things right all the time.  This requires discipline and a lot of practice.  Having pride in who they are…and what they do….releases strong energy into the world.  With great discipline many great things happen.  So, work on the little things because eventually a little turns into a lot!”

“Always remember why you do what you do!!  Not for money or fame but for your LOVE of the game and the all encompassing effect of “THE TEAM”!  Also, that you represent the name on the back of the jersey a whole lot more than the name on the front!  If you remember these things you will never stray from the principles that got you where you are and you can climb to great heights.”

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After listening to these individuals pour our their philosophies of education to me…I had to sit back and realize how fortunate I was to be influenced by them. I began to think about all of the academic rigor and training that these people….these mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, community members, counselors, therapists, and most of all…mentors had dedicated themselves to in order to enrich our lives.

 Regardless of where we are in life…or what we think our role is….we have to realize that we all are communicating a philosophy….something that people will remember us by…something that will become the stuff of legend…

WE ARE SELLING SOMETHING…..OURSELVES…..

Think about this….

-The kid in the neighborhood that rides his bike by your house each day when you get home……He’s watching your example.  He’s saying…  Coach Me Coach!

-The coworker who asks you about your experiences as a college athlete……they are asking because you have influence.  They are saying….  Coach Me Coach!

-The neighbor who comes over each Saturday with beer…telling you about his yard and car…….he sees a friend and neighbor in you.   He is saying…Coach Me Coach!

-The rental car agent that you begrudgingly have to do business with twice a month….that really wants to know how you obtained success.  He or She is saying….Coach Me Coach!

-And….the person whom you don’t even realize….that knows WHO you are from your days as a student athlete or a coach…..that likes you…they have you on a pedestal…..and they look at your success as there own……..THEY ARE SCREAMING….Coach Me Coach!

So………REALITY CHECK!  The IN YOUR FACE question to ask yourself this week:

WHAT ARE YOU COACHING TODAY?!

WHAT MESSAGE ARE YOU SENDING TO THE WORLD?!

WHAT “COACH FABRIS” STORIES WILL ONE DAY BE TOLD ABOUT YOU?

What is your personal philosophy?!  If you don’t have one…spend a few minutes this week asking yourself what you want your legacy to be as a professional, family member, friend, parent, son, daughter, church member, small group leader, boyfriend, girlfriend……..Coach, President, CEO, etc….

-What will your “players” say about you 60 years from now?

-What stories will they tell their children when they are reminiscing about their glory days?!

TRUST ME! YOU WANT TO BE THE PERSON THAT COACHED THEM INTO ADULTHOOD!

So, this week…….

Open your eyes to the world around you…who is silently screaming….

Coach Me Coach!?

I love you guys!

CoachKD

#CoachMeCoach

As I was en route to the 2016 College Football Playoff Game between Alabama and Michigan State in Dallas, I passed a sign letting me know I was 179 miles from my destination.  I started to consider how our “destination” was such a variable measurement in different areas of life.

-How long until I graduate?

-How long until I turn 21?

-How many more dates should I wait before I propose?

-How long before we get pregnant?

-How many more job interviews do I have to go to before I’m hired?

-How long before I move into a house?

-How many more payments until my student loans are paid off?

To some people I know, their “destination” is a house in the suburbs with a nice yard, dog in the backyard, son in little league, and daughter in ballet.  Other friends want a Lotus, a flat on the Upper East Side, and a couple of girlfriends.  Others have a much different “destination” in mind involving their own restaurant, church, tattoo parlor, skateboard shop, bar, etc.

Anyway you want to look at it, everyone has a concept of their “destination” and what it will take for them to know they have “arrived”.  The moment when you look at your journey, the heartaches, bruised egos, sacrifices, and breathe a sigh of relief that all of your work has paid off!

This week’s message isn’t about the “destination”……instead….this week’s message is about recognizing where you are when you are still 179 miles out….in a place that while you may not see the importance of the lonesome highway….it may be the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR SPECIFIC, UNIQUE JOURNEY.

Driving has always been memorable to me.  I can vividly recall many of the important drives I have made in my life.  To be honest, I could probably make the drive from Chattanooga to Tuscaloosa and not even think.

Seriously though, I remember one such journey that changed me!  I had verbally accepted a Coordinator position at a school in New York and I was feeling a little, um, apprehensive..to say the least!  I was driving from Tuscaloosa to Upstate New York with a stop….somewhere….anywhere….along that route. Let me just tell you: Me, alone, in a car, for 16 hours is NOT a good thing!  I think I talked myself into taking the job… and then talked myself into turning it down…at least 5 times..in the first 2 hours of the trip.  This cycle repeated itself several times…with the intensity of each decision only growing…..

The journey was changing me!!!

I stayed outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania for my short night of sleep before I resumed my drive to New York!  I read my One-Year Bible plan and made phone calls to my core…to get some unsolicited confidence and courage.  It was in a moment shortly before bed that something came to my mind that changed the entire trip…

“This is what you went to college for!  This is what your Mom and Dad sacrificed for!  This is what you prayed for when you were waking up at 4am for workouts at Alabama!  This is why you worked two jobs as an undergraduate student!  While you may be having second thoughts….you are living what most people would consider a DREAM!  You are going to get to live in NEW YORK for a year!  You will be blessed by playing at West Point, the US Naval Academy, Princeton, Yale!  You will meet coaches that will become lifelong friends!  You will coach players that will play at schools across the country!  THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY….THIS IS A STOP IN YOUR PROCESS….THIS WILL BE A MEANINGFUL CHAPTER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOOK OF YOUR LIFE!  ENJOY THE JOURNEY WHILE PREPARING FOR YOUR ARRIVAL! “

“Kevin, This is what you have prayed for……since 1999!”

I was still anxious!  I was still a worried!  I knew I was trained by the best…and I knew I had the connections to make this thing succeed….but I was going to a place outside my comfort zone…..to a place that felt a heck of a lot farther than 179 miles….

But God wanted me there!  God had people there to take my blinders off!  God had battles He wanted won!  He wanted me there! He needed a Coach!

As you guys know, I draw a great deal of strength from reading the bible and applying it to our current world.  It struck me this week how many characters in the bible were changed in the process of a journey…..or when they were still 179 miles away.  The most striking one to me was Paul on his commute to Damascus.

You can read the story here:

Saul on the Road to Damascus!!!

Saul was not what you would call a great person….he just wasn’t!  His mind was directed, not toward helping Christians, but harming them.  He was….basically a violent, abusive, war seeking, Criminal!  He was on his way…his journey…to Damascus to continue his assault of all things Christian when something happened.

A MOMENT!  A MOMENT THAT CHANGED HIM…HIS MIND…AND HIS DESTINATION!

GOD STOPPED SAUL!  God stopped him dead in his camel’s…erh…his horse’s….”whatever Saul was traveling with’s” tracks!  God brought Saul to his knees and spoke directly to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”  After Saul and God converse for a moment….Jesus drops a line that makes anyone on a journey in life jump:

“Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do!”

During this conversation on the road to Damascus….God did two different things that only He can do!  He changed Saul in two distinct….and incredible ways!

1.   God showed himself to Saul and gave him direction and purpose…in a word, REFOCUS!

God showed Saul where to direct his abilities and how to focus his gifts in the right direction.  ONLY GOD CAN DO THIS!!

     2.  God changed Saul’s name to ….you guessed it …….PAUL!

God had a new title for him……new mission….new title.  God said, “Here’s how I’m changing you on your journey….here’s you a new name….and even though you are 179 miles out….I’m going to change your focus to change the WORLD….they are even going to write this thing called the Bible one day and you will have a big part in it!  Now, I am sending you some people to assist you…so get your mind right.”

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If you have had the time to read this message…you owe it to yourself to read the actual story at the link above.  Here’s why….God’s light was so bright during their conversation…Paul was BLIND! He couldn’t even see the next leg of a journey that God had just assigned to him……He had to travel in:

FAITH!

Look, I don’t have a clue what your personal definition is of your destination is!  I don’t know for certain what moment you will realize that you have “Arrived”!  Due to travel and life’s process, I may not even know where you are in your journey!  However, I want to tell you something I have learned. Your journey will require 4 things for you to arrive at your Destination:

1. Focus and Re-Focus: Your focus will need to be adjusted….from time to time.  It rarely comes at a convenient time…but you will need it to continue.  You may be destined to be a Head Coach….but you may have been using that talent to manage a restaurant or bar!  That wasn’t God’s plan for you….so your focus needs to be..ADJUSTED….

2. Your title may change periodically:  But so will your responsibilities and development.  Before you can be a Head Coach…you need to be a Coordinator, Position Coach, Graduate Assistant, Recruiting Coordinator, Strength And Conditioning Coach, and Intern….EMBRACE THE ROLE.  Also, respect each and every role you have….you will be hiring your replacement one day!

3. Blind Faith:  Just like Paul…it will scare the heck out of you!  You may not see the next step, mile, flight, win, contract….shoot….you may be making $149 every two weeks in southern Virginia…..but you know where you are….179 miles out!

4. People:  When you see a turtle on a fence post…know it didn’t get there by itself.  Your journey will require people…and their journey will require you!

Before I leave you guys and gals for the week, I want two very specific favors from each of you.  I want to know you are out there and how you are doing.  Let me know! Secondly, I want you to listen to one of my favorite messages of all time…From Bishop T.D. Jakes..and it refers to our story….Saul on his journey to Damascus:

START AT THE 20:00 MARK….

I love all of you and am thinking about you ….every mile along your journey!

#CoachKD